Today is Little Pearl’s first birthday.
It’s been a quiet day for us. We already celebrated her birthday with family on the weekend, as my brother had flown in to Canberra for the weekend and it seemed like a good opportunity. So given today it’s just her and me, I’m reflecting on the previous year.
This was the most emotional, roller-coaster, joyous year of my life. Hers too, I guess. We’ve gotten to know each other over the last twelve months, and somewhere during that time, I began to feel like a mother – her mother. I added another dimension to the way I see myself. I know it didn’t happen straight away, because my journal records that even though I had a baby, I didn’t feel like a mother yet. It must have crept up on me.
The first six months seemed so difficult in comparison to the second half of the year. We had breastfeeding problems and sleep and weight issues to contend with in addition to the rearranging of our entire lives. In the second six months, we learned to adapt.
Having a baby changed our marriage, health, home, views on work and money. Before Little Pearl arrived, my husband said to me ‘Don’t tell me things will be just as good but different.’ Now he agrees it’s the only way to describe life after baby – except for us, things are better, but different.
Little Pearl has brought such joy and laughter in to our home. A few tears, too, but much more happiness than anything else. Watching her grow, seeing her sunny disposition slowly emerge, and encouraging that sly sense of humour has been a delight. The sound of the three of us laughing together is my new favourite noise. I love to see her grin when I walk into the nursery in the morning and open the curtains. I love to listen to her mimic me yelling at the cats – ‘No! Doan!’ in her little soft voice. Watching her sway in time to Barry White or George Michael on the stereo.
When Little Pearl was born, so many people told me to treasure these moments because our children are little for such a short time. It was hard to treasure those moments at first, when we were sleep deprived and terrified of the awesome responsibility of such a small being. But slowly, I’ve come to live in the moment with my little girl. The housework can wait – I’d rather build block towers for her to smash down, or read Where does Maisy Live?
And in return, I have a year of amazing, wonderful, joyful memories. May the next twelve months bring the same.
Yes, treasure each moment, because like mine, she will grow up all too soon and leave the nest. Each and every day is a blessing even if you think sometimes they are a lot of work.
“It was hard to treasure those moments at first, when we were sleep deprived and terrified of the awesome responsibility of such a small being.”
I completely relate!
This is a lovely reflection on the first year of your daughter’s life. I am glad to know that things will get a little easier.