In my other (working) life, I was a human resources manager. One small part of my job was to give people feedback on their job applications and interview performance, usually when they hadn’t got the job or promotion.
Receiving feedback is a skill. I got a pointed reminder of this today in my writing life.
I’m participating in an online workshop, and I’ve posted short excerpts of my work in the forum. The tutor noted that I’d made several grammatical errors that I ought to clean up before I submitted the work.
My mental state went from one stage to the next:
- Denial. No, there are no grammatical errors. My grammar is perfect. The tutor must have mixed up my post with someone else’s. I hate bad grammar almost as much as I hate poor spelling.
- Anger. This is not a grammar workshop, so why is the tutor commenting on my grammar? Nothing better to do? I’m not posting any more in this forum! Screw that stupid workshop!
- Resignation. I’m crap. I’m never writing anything again.
- Acceptance. Hmm, I wonder what grammatical mistakes the tutor noticed? Perhaps I could post and ask for some further guidance?
This is my mantra: FEEDBACK IS A GIFT.
If someone takes the time and effort to give you constructive feedback, thank them. They didn’t have to put themselves out to help you out. If you asked for the feedback (eg a critique), thank them twice. Thank them no matter what they said, whether you think it’s credible or not.
Once you’ve had a chance to think about it – once you’re at the acceptance stage – you’ll generally find there is at least some truth in what’s been said. This is especially true if you respect the person giving the feedback, or if they have some professional credibility.
The tutor responded to my follow-up post with an edited version of my original excerpt showing how I’d used passive voice throughout the entire piece of writing. The tutor is a published author, and painfully accurate in their assessment of my work. And if I hadn’t accepted the feedback, and asked for more, I might not have picked up the problem myself. Now I know I have a problem with my WIP, and I can work on improving it. Identifying the issue is half the journey.
Giving good feedback, or good critiques, is a skill. It takes time and no small amount of energy. If someone has offered to critique your work (and they have no axe to grind…) and does a good job, they are worth their weight in gold. This is why it’s important to reciprocate – a good critique is priceless.
I’m not ready for critiques on my WIP yet. It’s very, very rough first draft, and I want to go over it at least once with my Inner Editor in full flight. But when I do, I look forward to the feedback. And I look forward to putting in the same level of time and energy to critiquing the work of other writers, and building my own critiquing skills.
Yes, one small improvement at a time. 🙂 Remember, all advice must be understood before rejecting or accepting it, including advice from published authors. Passive voice and POV were my two main problem areas, closely followed by description, dialogue, … 🙂
Dealing with critiques requires a healthy dose of humility and a thick skin. It also, paradoxically enough, requires a certain amount of self-confidence, because not all reviews are created equal. Some are overtly destructive or dead wrong, but there also some subtle subversive crits that may be right for another writer, but not for you and your unique voice.
Finding a crit buddy who understands your style, gets your voice, and is still able to find places where you went wrong is worth its weight in gold.
Thanks for coming over to my blog to say hi! 🙂
You’re both right, it’s important to remember that the critique itself needs to be carefully read and evaluated. I think the trick for me is to wait a few hours after the first read, and then go back and read again!
Thanks for the comments.
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